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This was originally created on the night of the 5th. My connection would not allow me to publish this.

If you're reading this, you must really have a good life, or be a really good person to listen to me complain... I know you're all good people. Thanks for reading.

"If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all". To the best of my military abilities, I abided by that famous token of wisdom yesterday. Besides BSing with a fellow disgruntled sailor, I must have said a total of about 25-35 words. It was a test to see if anything changed by me not complaining. As expected, no one noticed. You may ask why I did this experiment. You may have questions about the results. However, you're probably as apathetic as I am about my job. Apathetic isn't the right word. I'm definitely not apathetic about my job. I WANT to not not care about it; but I'm not dumb enough to not care. Throughout the day, very few questions were asked to me, and very few problems were presented. One day of this isn't enough to garner a "complete" experiment, but it was almost entertaining to me. There in lies the reasoning to the attitude: it was entertaining - I had nothing better to do. Which is also wrong in saying, as there ARE plenty of things for me to do. I just know that I complain way too much out here. Most of my conversations with people are held in a negative connotation. I feel bad for laying those feelings on others. They don't need to hear it. But since you're reading this, (like stated above) you must be a really good person, and have genuine interest in me. Thanks again.

I don't believe in karma. Bad things happen to people because they don't think... or because they're unlucky. I DO believe in luck. How can I have these beliefs? I can attribute everything bad that's ever happened to me on ignorance or chance. Why is my credit not as good as it could be? Because when I was younger and dumber, I didn't pay bills on time. Why did I crash our Lexus into a deer? Nothing to do with karma there... pure luck(bad luck). I don't think I do enough (genuinely) bad deeds to merit bad things happening to me. I'm sure some of you are reading this and are thinking that you could change a lot of what I've just said into different categories, and try to explain things to me differently... On the same note, I'm sure my beliefs will change too.

Which leads me to....
Because I was "good" yesterday and didn't complain, I received two items in the mail today. Is that karma? Methinks not. So yes, that whole paragraph above was a lead into this one. I'm so dramatic. The first item I opened was a letter from my cousin, Katie, or Katherine as she apparently goes by now. That really put me in my place. The only thing I can, or should, complain about are the people I deal with. I have it really nice in Baghdad compared to her. So, I hereby apologize for everything negative I've said about my deployment not dealing with people. I don't even know if she can read this, but if you can, Katie/Katherine, I feel for you, and thank you for doing your part. I mean it. Your help in this ordeal/conflict is greatly appreciated. I just want you to know that people serving with you need you as much as people at home. Thanks again. On a side story before I get to the second parcel - I worked at a vehicle shop last week for a few days doing real work. Whenever I'd fix a soldier's gear and get them on their way, I would always tell them thanks, and good luck (because if karma had anything to do with it, we wouldn't have any casualties) out there. That seems to mean a lot to fellow servicemembers when you tell them thanks. I hope it helps. Right, on to the second piece of mail, which I received from my grandma in Omaha. As soon as I opened it, the overwhelming smell of chocolate got me. It seemed like Hershey, PA was in my trailer. I'm not complaining, because the letter and package made my day. They really put a good note to close out my evening/afternoon. The Vic's popcorn was delicious though. I ate the whole bag in one sitting. The highlight of the night though, was reading the letter and enclosed prayer. I'm not really religious anymore, but knowing that I was included in a prayer said in front of a number of people really brings tears to my eyes. Really, tears. But that shouldn't be a surprise to my readers now. I know you are all praying for me - and thank you. I've just never seen my name written in a prayer. It threw me off. I still don't think I'm the guy who deserves it.

In closing, I watched Black Snake Moan for like the fifth time in a couple months today. I totally recommend it, but viewer discretion is advised if you're easily put off by: drug use, use of alcohol, strong language, strong sexual language, violence, and nudity. The music in it is powerful. It can make anyone want to listen to the blues. I swear if my connection was faster than dial up in an Eastern bloc country, I would spend loads of money downloading RL Burnside, Son House, and other "Delta Blues" artists. Samuel L. Jackson even sings in the film with great emotion. It really draws me in everytime I watch it.

Goodnight

-C